


A (mostly) Impenetrable Force

by msmarycrawley



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Married Couple, Romance, Vulnerability, Wealth, Young!Johnny, Young!Moira, i'd die for Moira and so would Johnny, there's not enough fic about these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 10:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmarycrawley/pseuds/msmarycrawley
Summary: "When people say 'be yourself', I don't even know what that means. I'm... everything. Every part of me is different, every part of me is connected. And I can't separate them, even though I've tried."The money was changing Moira. For better or worse, it was changing her.





	A (mostly) Impenetrable Force

**Author's Note:**

> It's ya girl again, here to break up the very lovely David and Patrick fics in the tag! I wrote this in like an hour and a half during an ADHD hyperfixation session™️ so it's probably very rambly. But these two are my favorite couple on the entire show, I find their dynamic so interesting and Moira is just the best. Hope you like it :)

Johnny was getting tired. Not physically, but emotionally. He and Moira were attached at the hip as much as they could be, which was just how he liked it. They had gotten married six months ago and as busy as they both were, they always made time for one another. If they didn't see each other in person every day, they would talk on the phone. He would visit her on set, and she came by the office often. She loved to talk about his business, and he wanted to involve her in any way possible. She was his number one consultant, he was her number one supporter. Everything in his life was going fantastic-but things were starting to change. The more successful Rose Video became, the more they moved higher up on the social scale, the more Johnny noticed it. 

Moira, who had always been exuberant, irritable, and unpredictable, was bringing it from a 10 to a 100. As hard as it was for others to believe, Johnny loved that side of her. It was what made her so charming and so exciting to be with. It was also what made her an extremely passionate lover. It was literally impossible for there to be a dull moment whenever his wife was around. But lately, it seemed like that side had taken over. And frankly, it was starting to get..draining, even for him. One wrong look from somebody on set would set her off into an hour-long diatribe that he would listen to, occasionally nodding so she was reassured that he was still listening and wouldn't get even more annoyed. Last week at dinner, she had ordered shrimp and not steak, a mistake which involved a very public fight between her and the chef that would have cost him his job if Johnny hadn't managed to talk her down. She wanted to discuss his business more and more, neglecting everything else they used to talk about. She would smile to somebody's face and call them a friend and then give the press something to write about by not so subtly implying that she didn't like their choice of dress for the evening. She fell into her old dialect of speech less and less and virtually cut off all contact from her former life. If somebody didn't like her it was THEIR fault, and Johnny had better agree with her or there would be hell to pay.

Yet despite everything, he knew Moira wasn't unhappy. When things were good, they were _really_ good.  
It was just that the bad moments were starting to overshadow the good in a way Johnny didn't like. He loved his wife more than anything. She was the only one for him, she was his soulmate. He loved everything about her, he loved having her around and being married to her. Her life was a rollercoaster and he loved being on the ride. But it was all too much. He missed how she used to stumble over her words, laugh at jokes she shouldn't laugh at, and occasionally go to an event without trying to show everybody up. Moira thought she deserved the best, and so she did, but not at the expense of everyone around her. He knew he had to be the one to bring it up-and soon.

"Johnny dear, where do you want to expand next?" Moira looked up from her menu, smiling expectantly. They were at a new dinner place, one she had specifically picked out. The food was good, but Johnny had a hard time focusing on it. He didn't want Rose Video to dominate their entire evening. "I don't know," he said, holding out his hand for his wife to grab across the table. "What do you think?" "Well," she said, tapping her finger against the side of his, "Overseas is what makes the most sense. But I wonder if it wouldn't do just as good to expand into some _rural_ states, where there isn't much...Johnny? What is it?" He had been spacing out, and not really listening. Moira was extremely perceptive when she wanted to be. He gripped her hand tighter in preparation of what was to come next. "Sweetheart, I don't want this to change us." 

"What do you mean? Your success?" 

"Yes, and the money that comes with it." he sighed. 

"But it already has." Moira replied, visibly puzzled. 

"It has, but only the way we live. At least for me." He was choosing his words very carefully, but they were still difficult to say. "I don't want it to change how we see the world. How we act towards other people, our perceptions of ourselves, you know..." Johnny's voice trailed off as he noticed how intensely his wife was looking at him.

"Well," she said, letting go of his hand. "I think change is a good thing."

"I just... I miss you, Moira."

"John, I don't like what you're implying, and I don't like where this conversation is going either. We talk all the time." She was upset now, and he hated making her upset. 

"Of course we do. Forget it, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'm in a funk," Johnny took Moira's hand and kissed the back of it. That seemed to soften her up, she secretly loved when he was extra-affectionate with her in public. Moira smiled a little bit. "Let's eat. I hope you feel better after you see this wine selection."

A week passed before the topic of change came up again, and during that time Johnny noticed that Moira dialed it back slightly. He couldn't tell if it was for him or not, but she was more self-aware than people gave her credit for. In return, he visited her on the set of Sunrise Bay hours more than he usually did in a wordless apology. They almost never fought, and he was glad that this time they didn't have to. Surprisingly, Moira was the one who brought up their discussion up again at bedtime. 

"Johnny, I've been thinking a lot about what you said to me," she said, pulling the blankets back and settling herself in. "About what?" he turned to face her. "About not wanting to change."

"Moira, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, she interrupted. I see where you're coming from. But..."

"But what, darling?" Johnny sat up and moved the hair away from her face.

"This.. this is where I belong. I had nothing growing up. All of this," she gestured around the lavish room, "I _dreamed_ of this. I knew I was destined for this. And it's all thanks to you. I wouldn't have any of it without you. You came into my life and you showed me I was right, you showed me this beautiful world that you built for yourself. For us. And you gave me a place where I finally fit in. I finally feel as special as I knew I always was, even as a little girl. I never have to struggle anymore." Moira paused to compose her thoughts. It had been a long time that she had talked so extensively about something this personal.

"I know I get carried away. And it's because I- and this stays in this room, Johnny." she spoke louder and looked at him fiercely. He nodded. She knew he never said anything but kind words about her to other people, but it was hard to be vulnerable even in front of him, knowing that there was even a slight possibility her underbelly would be exposed to the world.

"It's because, I belong, but I'm still trying to fit in even now. When people say 'be yourself', I don't even know what that means. I'm... everything. Every part of me is different, every part of me is connected. And I can't separate them, even though I've tried. Who I want to be is the same person that I am, just different."

Johnny looked at amazement at his wife. She was unlike anybody he ever knew, or would ever know. She was just... Moira, he was seeing that now. All of the changes he saw in her were superficial, she would always be his Moira. He just hadn't seen her for a while, he had gotten "public" Moira for too long. And he wanted so badly for her to feel at okay and peace with herself the way he should be as her husband.

"But you....." Moira leaned over and held his face in her hands.

"You are my favorite person in the whole world. You are everything to me," her voice was wobbly, like she was about to cry any second. Johnny felt a sharp pain in his chest. He needed to kiss her, he never wanted to be closer to her more than at this moment. And yet he hoped she didn't cry because then he'd cry too and neither of them would get any sleep.

"I don't say it enough, John, but if you had nothing, if Rose Video failed, if you were poorer than I ever was when I met you, nothing about how much I love you would change. I would have married you no matter what. Because you make me feel like everything. You make me feel like a billion dollars, which should be your net-worth soon.." she started using her showbiz voice, making them both laugh.

"I'm so sorry that I've been neglecting you. Neglecting _us._ I don't want you to ever miss me. I know I'm different from when you met me, Johnny, and if you don't like me now, if I'm too much, I don't know what I'd do, because I just love you so much-"

"Oh my god, baby, no." Johnny needed to interrupt. He could see the tears spring up from her eyes and he wiped them away, pressing his forehead to hers. "I just missed THIS. I will love you forever, I love everything about you, you are my entire life. I don't want you to ever cry over me."

"Well, this was a bit of a wake-up call. If I'm ever being too testy-which I NEVER am, I give you permission to gently remind me of how much I love you. And how much useful the little people beneath us in the world can be, you know..." She was using her haughty voice again. Johnny laughed and stroked her hair, gazing into her eyes. He brought his lips down to hers and they kissed deeply, holding each other as close as possible. He was in complete awe of her. He would always be in awe of her.

"I view life as performance art, darling," Moira said in a sing-song tone as she laid back down and turned the light off. Johnny moved over to drape his arm around her. You would never have guessed what conversation they were just having by her sudden shift in mannerisms. 

_Performance art._

Johnny thought to himself that if anyone's life deserved an Oscar, it was her.


End file.
